Know someone who's very blunt? Thank them for it.

If you think over the people that you feel safest and most relaxed around, chances are that they’re direct individuals. They’re clear about what their thoughts, beliefs, and feelings are, and we’re never left uncertain about our standing with them.

Indirect people, however, are not to be trusted. They are either afraid or they refuse to be upfront about who they are, what they want, and how they’re faring. Though they may never make clear what principles they’re grounded on, you can be sure that they’ll eventually act on their truth. And people may find themselves destabilized and confused, not sure how to respond to something they never knew was coming.

Those of us in recovery need to remain vigilant in ensuring that we don’t skew an ethic. In practicing directness, we may slip into being harsh, rude, or inappropriate. Directness does not entail sharing every thought or feeling that passes through us. As with anything, we need to apply tact, grace, and self-control to any situation in which we’ve decided to be direct.

As we grow, we find that being direct will save time and relieve stress in the long run. It takes us out of the victim role, does away with the martyrdom we imagine ourselves in, and cuts us out of playing mind games: Being direct puts us into the position of a mature and reasonable adult responsible for his or her own feelings and behaviors. It will aid us in forming lasting and respectful relationships.

We feel safe and stable around direct, honest people. Go out and be one.