Fulfillment is the promise

Our needs will be met. Everything we need will be provided for. It's the simplest guarantee when we enter into relationship with God, and often the easiest to forget. Therefore, we must remind ourselves constantly: in our morning prayers, on our lunch break, at the close of the day, and in the quiet moments scattered throughout.

It's important to know what we want and need, and even more importantly, the difference between the two. But even if we aren't aware of just what it is we need in our lives, we can be certain that God is, and he will see to it that we are taken care of.

God will even provide for some of the smaller things, the sillier things, our wants and desires. He is our caretaker and our protector, and he not only wants our bare necessities covered, but for us to have other things that bring us joy.

If we ask and trust that our needs will be provided for, they will be. If we knock, God will answer.

To Get Your Needs Met, You First Have to Know What They Are

We all have needs, and I'm not talking about food, shelter and clothing. I'm talking about the stuff a little higher on Maslow's list: the need for friendship, fulfillment or love.

But many of us are so busy in our daily lives, we run nonstop in what I'd call "survival mode." At this pace, how can we become aware of new needs? We may need to change our behavior (for example how we treat our kids), or we may need a new sofa because the old one is starting to smell. This prevents us from enjoying a relaxing evening watching TV or snuggling with a loved one.

Don't be afraid to stop (or at least pause) once in a while, and recognize a need, or just a whim. When we can't get what we want immediately (instant gratification), we can get frustrated. Maybe our mind doesn't want to let us go there. Or maybe we immeidately dismiss a new "need" as really selfish desire.

But if you acknowledge a need, pray about it, then give it to God, you are preparing yourself to receive that want or need when your Higher Power provides it. Between the time we identify the need and the time we receive it, we can exercise our faith, willing ourselves to turn it over, and keep turning it over (if need be) to God.

Today, I will let go of the spoiled-child mentality that none of my needs ever get met. I'll acknowledge my needs, then turn them over to my Higher Power. God created us, and all of our desires, no matter how silly. He cares about all them, if we do. I will trust that He knows my needs and will provide them in good time.

Change is inevitable. And desirable!

The recent earthquakes remind me that change is an inevitable part of life. The very earth that we stand on is not so solid as we sometimes think. Scientists tell us that even the continents "drift" over time. Land that is dust and desert was once at the bottom of a vast ocean.


The winds of change -- to use another 'nature' analogy -- constantly blow through our lives, sometimes gently, sometimes like a hurricane. Sometimes we have to struggle just to find time to catch our breath, to relax and to adjust to change, and to even enjoy it.

Enjoy it? 


Yes, change can be, and often is, desirable.

While change typically brings on temporary stress, resisting change or hoping that everything returns to "normal" can be a bad plan. But it might be a better idea to prepare ourselves for a new normal.

Change is necessary to take us where we're going. The secret to dealing with change is to trust that our Higher Power has a plan in mind, even when we don't know where change is headed. What a wonderful perspective, to be able to relax and enjoy the ride, with optimistic curiosity about when and where it will end!

God, just for today, help me let go of my resistance to change. Help me be open to the process. Help me believe that the place I end up will be better than the place where I started. Help me to surrender, trust, and accept that Thy will be done, even if I don't understand it.

Conflict is not about winning or losing. It's about learning.

Conflict is inevitable in our lives. We have conflicts with others, yes, and many times we even have conflicts than live within ourselves.


Some time today or in the near future, a "problem" is going to arise between me and someone I know. How do I respond?


Following my principles seems like a good start. I am expected to be true to myself, but I'm also expected to get along with others and listen respectfully to their beliefs. 


But I'm not sure about approaching any situation with an automatic assumption of win/lose. Can we be "right" and still lose? Can we accept that? On the other hand, how would you feel about winning a debate even though, in your heart, you feel you were in the wrong?

The only way to "win" is to present my perspective and then give the outcome to God, ensuring that I avoid resentment and bitterness. Would that more people could avoid the win/lose thinking and self-righteousness that has launched bitter feuds and even wars, all based on pride and self-justification for the sake of being "right" at all costs.

Being in a Twelve Step program does NOT mean we automatically are exempt from conflict. However, practicing our principles give us the opportunity -- no, the privilege -- of rising above the fray to know real peace, regardless of who "wins" or "loses." Thankfully, it is also our privilege to share these principles with others so that they may know the same peace.


Remember, conflict is really just a means to help us to learn more about ourselves and others, and to grow spiritually. Let's look at conflict in terms of the benefits it can provide, rather than as something to fear.

When "Pleased to meet you!" has a dark side

"Pleased to meet you." Such an innocuous phrase. Yet it has a dark side.

Have you ever been around people-pleasers? They tend to be displeasing. Being around someone who is turned inside out to please another is often irritating and anxiety-producing.

People-pleasing is a behavior we may have adapted to survive in our family. We may not have been able to get the love and attention we deserved. We may not have been given permission to please ourselves, to trust ourselves, and to choose a course of action that demonstrated self-trust.

People-pleasing can be overt or covert. We may run around fussing over others, chattering a mile a minute when what we are really saying is, "I hope I'm pleasing you." Or, we may be more covert, quietly going through life making important decisions based on pleasing others, hoping they acknowledge and appreciate our sacrifices on their behalf.

Taking other people's wants and needs into consideration is an important part of our relationships. We have responsibilities to friends and family and employers. We have a strong inner responsibility to be loving and caring. But the sad fact is, people-pleasing backfires. Not only do others get annoyed with us, we often get annoyed when our efforts to please do not work as we planned. The most comfortable people to be around are those who are considerate of others but who ultimately please themselves. It's because they are comfortable in their own skin. We can sense that they don't need anything from us, and that helps us to relax in their presence.

Today, please help me God, work through my fears and begin to please myself.

The Doors We Open and Close

The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live. –Flora Whittemore

“When one door closes, another one opens,” is a very common axiom in our society. It means that every phase in our life has a natural beginning and end. When it looks like one road it coming to an end, that’s all right, because we can be certain another will be appearing ahead.

Experiencing a door shut can be frightening and stressful, though. Friendships, marriages, jobs, and aspirations can all come to an end. These situations can seem incomprehensible, and can create a miasma of negative thoughts and emotions. On the other side of things, positive opportunities that open up for us can be equally as confusing; we may not always understand why we’re meant to do something, or why it’s happening now.

Despite the incomprehensibility of these situations, and the ensuing thoughts and emotions that can run through us, it is key to remember that God is at the forefront of all these changes, and He is unfolding a different plan for our lives.

The doors that open and close for us are each meant as preparation for the newest stage of our lives. We can’t think of ourselves as lab rats, randomly running through a maze of experiences, trying to reach the prize cheese. Each and every step we take is planned and executed by our Higher Power, meant to guide us through all the doors that will bring us into the complete plan for our lives.