Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
The Fourth Step is one that can intimidate many people. The thought of facing a darker, destructive side of us can be scary. However, the purpose of this step is not to make us feel awful or beat us over the head with everything we’ve done wrong; quite the opposite. It’s at this point in our recovery that we unearth those things that keep us isolated from others, unable to give or receive love, process our own thoughts and emotions, and enjoy our place in life -- not so that we feel like failures, but so that we can remove those obstructions and continue on in a happier and healthier state of being.
Not everything that’s holding us back is going to be surface-level, though. Many times we’re going to have to unearth things on a subconscious level: fear, hurt, anger, or shame from our past that we’ve suppressed and covered up; or an unacknowledged perceptions of ourselves and others that are hurting our relationships. We may be shocked at what we find when we really start digging. There’s any number of “hidden” messages that we tell ourselves: No one loves me . . . No one can love me . . . I can’t trust anyone . . . I can’t trust myself . . . I deserve unhappiness . . . I hate my life.
The point of bringing up harmful and upsetting beliefs we hold about others and ourselves is to discern behaviors and patterns of action that are self-defeating. We shouldn’t fear performing this step, because it’s created to cleanse our hearts, minds, and souls. It opens a door to feeling good about ourselves and others, and letting us live the fruitful, happy life of love that our Higher Power intends.
We may try to put off the Fourth Step, avoid it. We may fear what examining that side of us will bring to light. We could realize that we’re angry, hurtful, selfish, and afraid. We may uncover just how damaging our actions have been to ourselves and others. We have the capacity for destruction, and we’ve used it; we know this. We have a slew of nasty, harmful things within us.
However, we also have the capacity for love, faith, hope, and trust. There is a side of us that is overflowing with good things, with appreciation for what is beautiful and right, and with a desire to do the very best we can in anything that comes our way. We have been given the ability to make the right choices, and we have used that too.
The Fourth Step paves the way for coming to terms with our past, accepting who we are, and healing old wounds, so that we are ready to live as our Higher Power has planned.
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