It’s been ingrained in us since we were young that “honesty is the best policy.” While the sentiment may be true, it’s important for us, in our recovery, to reassess how we apply the ethic to our interactions. If we find ourselves being “honest” in an attempt to take control of a person’s actions or dismiss someone’s choices, then we’re allowing our unhealthy behavioral patterns to taint something that is intended to help us grow in our maturity and our relationships with others.
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"The Lightning Speed of Honesty"
-- image courtesy Wikimedia |
Sometimes we are driven to be “honest” by truly healthier motives, though. However, there are brands of honesty which can do more harm than good. We’re never to lie, even by omission, but if we dump unnecessary and hurtful information on someone just so we can give ourselves a pat on the back and feel better for being “honest,” then we’ve fallen into a different sort of sick behavior. As stated in Step 9, we’re exempt from making amends -- or being honest -- if doing so would injure the person we’re confessing to or others.
This program is the foundation for restructuring the way we live. It’s not uncommon to find that old, knee-jerk reactions no longer mesh with the new person we’re growing into. This means that we turn to different, less-familiar ways of acting, such as being honest without being controlling or insensitive.
Our new brand of honesty must be one filled with compassion. Through this program, the men and women we’re in recovery with, and a close relationship with our Higher Power, we’re being flooded with the love and acceptance that we may never have received before. And in return, we’re learning how to express the same love and acceptance to others. If we keep ourselves in the same nonjudgmental and compassionate frame of mind that we were welcomed with, we can be certain that we’re imparting the right kind of truth.
1 comment:
thank you terry- i need to remember
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