What We Can Learn from Recovery ... The Power of Gray Days

Sometimes, the gray days scare us. Those are the days when the old feelings come rushing back. We may feel needy, scared, ashamed, and unable to care for ourselves.

Gray days can send us back to how we were before entering recovery: unsure of ourselves, self-centered, and untrusting of others. We lose faith in our Higher Power and journey back to self will. We lose touch with how we’ve grown out of the brokenness of our past, and we give up on the future. We become absolutely certain that our goals and aspirations will never come to pass. Every obstacle, no matter how small, seems to cripple us.

Our default is to reinstate our codependent and controlling ways. We then enlist the old negative reactions we've worked so hard to shed. When we slip into these states, it’s important to remember that we’re still ourselves. Our emotional state is separate from our environment.

No person or thing has the power to make us happy or heal us. In the program, we learn that a peaceful state can only be achieved through the Twelve Steps, our Higher Power, the companionship of our brothers and sisters in recovery, and our own choices.

Once we understand this, and are able to return to a composed, trusting, and open state, we often find that we are able to achieve what it is we want. The power of the gray day is that it reminds us how far we've come and how our lives have been changed for the better.