Fulfillment is the promise

Our needs will be met. Everything we need will be provided for. It's the simplest guarantee when we enter into relationship with God, and often the easiest to forget. Therefore, we must remind ourselves constantly: in our morning prayers, on our lunch break, at the close of the day, and in the quiet moments scattered throughout.

It's important to know what we want and need, and even more importantly, the difference between the two. But even if we aren't aware of just what it is we need in our lives, we can be certain that God is, and he will see to it that we are taken care of.

God will even provide for some of the smaller things, the sillier things, our wants and desires. He is our caretaker and our protector, and he not only wants our bare necessities covered, but for us to have other things that bring us joy.

If we ask and trust that our needs will be provided for, they will be. If we knock, God will answer.

To Get Your Needs Met, You First Have to Know What They Are

We all have needs, and I'm not talking about food, shelter and clothing. I'm talking about the stuff a little higher on Maslow's list: the need for friendship, fulfillment or love.

But many of us are so busy in our daily lives, we run nonstop in what I'd call "survival mode." At this pace, how can we become aware of new needs? We may need to change our behavior (for example how we treat our kids), or we may need a new sofa because the old one is starting to smell. This prevents us from enjoying a relaxing evening watching TV or snuggling with a loved one.

Don't be afraid to stop (or at least pause) once in a while, and recognize a need, or just a whim. When we can't get what we want immediately (instant gratification), we can get frustrated. Maybe our mind doesn't want to let us go there. Or maybe we immeidately dismiss a new "need" as really selfish desire.

But if you acknowledge a need, pray about it, then give it to God, you are preparing yourself to receive that want or need when your Higher Power provides it. Between the time we identify the need and the time we receive it, we can exercise our faith, willing ourselves to turn it over, and keep turning it over (if need be) to God.

Today, I will let go of the spoiled-child mentality that none of my needs ever get met. I'll acknowledge my needs, then turn them over to my Higher Power. God created us, and all of our desires, no matter how silly. He cares about all them, if we do. I will trust that He knows my needs and will provide them in good time.

Recovery is a Balancing Act

The concept of letting go can be confusing to many of us. When are we doing too much or trying too hard to control people and outcomes? When are we doing too little? When is what we're doing an appropriate part of taking care of ourselves? What is our responsibility, and what isn't?

Regardless of how long we’ve been in the program, these questions can be difficult for all of us. We sometimes find ourselves playing a very delicate balancing game between letting go of enough to be healthy, but not so much that we fail in what we should be doing for others or ourselves; or taking hold of the reins enough to adequately care for ourselves, but no so much that we attempt to control the actions of others.

The process of recovery isn’t one of perfection, it’s one of progress. That doesn’t mean, however, that we have to be walking around in uncertainty and fear. We can allow ourselves to test the water, to try different approaches, or hold back from taking an action.

Learning to build and keep the healthy boundaries that will aid our recovery isn’t straightforward or easy. We shouldn’t expect that we’ll nail it the first time – or the second, third, fourth, fifth . . .

We don’t have to blindly work everything out within ourselves. We can reach out to others in the recovery community and seek their advice and counsel. There are many, many people who have gone before us, and their stories are full of experiences and growth that we can apply to our own lives.

No matter how confusing it may seem now, have faith, because it will work out in the end. We will find the right path.

Accept the Unacceptable

Our basic recovery concept, which never loses its power to work miracles, is the concept called acceptance.

Acceptance is not an attitude that we’re able to reach instantly. Many times there’s a swamp of negative emotions -- helplessness, depression, shame, anger, anxiety -- that we have to work our way through before attaining acceptance; but if that is, in fact, the destination we set our hearts and minds to, then we will reach it.

There is little that can bring such peace and contentment as the ability to take our weaknesses in good humor and celebrate our strengths. When we are finally able to deeply understand that we are worthy of acceptance -- in spite of, and even because of, our feelings, thoughts, behaviors, and past -- we will come into a place of great healing.

There is another level to acceptance beyond ourselves, though, and that is the acceptance of our circumstances. If we are able to recognize and be well with the people and situations in our lives beyond our control, then we will be letting go of all the stress and frustration we encounter by trying to “fix” those things we’re in contact with that don’t suit us.

For even greater acceptance, we should not only learn to tolerate the things about us or our environment that we don’t like, but become grateful for them. We need to truly believe that, for this moment, everything is exactly how it should be; and though we don’t always understand it, displeasing things in our lives and even defects in ourselves are working out for good.

Despite all the obstacles and complications we may run into, the basic concept of acceptance never fails to help keep us sane.

Finding strength in falling apart

We don't always have to be strong. Sometimes, our strength is expressed in being vulnerable. Sometimes, we need to fall apart to regroup and stay on track.

Do we have to always be strong? Can't a person "fall apart" once and awhile? The answer is yes, absolutely. Give yourself permission to feel weak, scared, or vulnerable. After all, we are only human and we get tired, angry, and irritable - sometimes for no reason at all.

We know we are strong. Think of all of the hurdles you've jumped, the mountains you've climbed, and the recovery you've made. You have proven your strength to keep it all together and now give witness to your Higher Power at work in your life.

God is our source of strength. He holds us up when we can't do it ourselves. He gives us the permission to fall apart and the strength to get back on our feet.

Letting go is freedom ... for them and for you

Let nothing disturb you. Let nothing frighten you. Everything passes away except God.
--Saint Theresa

Let go and let God. That's what we're called to do. Part of letting go is detaching from others because we can't live their lives for them. Detaching allows us to be in close emotional contact with someone while feeling the freedom to be ourselves. We don't become defensive or react negatively toward others. True detachment takes time and work. Working the steps and focusing on our higher power is a great way to get there.

Once we start trying to fix, change, or rescue someone, we interfere not only with God's plan for our life, but for his or her life as well. We need to get out of His way and stop thinking we know what's best for someone else's life.

You know you've truly detached when you can let go and let God in every relationship you have.

Do you have the faith to climb a mountain?

A journey through the process of growth is ever-changing. We are faced with conquering steep mountains in the dead of winter and we've only packed a compass. The sad thing is that we already know which direction we need to go -- up. But we fail to pack the one thing we need the most, our faith.

Our goal is to reach the summit, but we often fumble in the dark or get blinded by the light. We stop and rest on the way and question why we started to climb this mountain. Our journey, either alone or with others supporting us, will get us to a better place.

We will reach a place of peace, hope, success, joy and beauty. What a long, but rewarding journey.

God, give me faith to start climbing my mountain, wisdom to see that I'm on the right journey, and eyes to enjoy the scenery at the summit.